Counseling center helps relieve Valentine’s Day stress

By Graciela Razo / Senior Staff Writer –

With stores stocked with Valentine’s Day cards and gifts, the holiday’s festivities are being splashed everywhere. But for some, the looming date of Feb. 14 only brings dread.

The Student Counseling Center is offering a discussion group today to help students through the Valentine’s Day season if they are getting over a past relationship or feeling lonely.

“It is essentially to help people understand the process of entering a relationship and the coping strategies that go along with that,” said Karen Cogan, a psychologist at the center and leader for today’s discussion, “Getting Over a Relationship.”

Cogan said this time of year people begin to notice feelings of loneliness and start wanting a relationship, but not necessarily for the right reasons.

Advertisers and greeting card companies bring these feelings to their attention and often make people feel it is necessary to have a significant other, she said.

“They see others celebrating, so the sadness or depressive feelings that go along with that can be exacerbated during this time of year,” Cogan said. “Some people have a good Valentine’s Day and others don’t, so we wanted to hit the ones who don’t.”

Jennifer Acker, a lecturer in the educational psychology department, said holidays in general bring about difficulty for people dealing with a sense of loss.

“There is more expectation, more stress and a lot more that goes along with the holiday times of the year,” Acker said.

Just as any other psychological stress can turn into physical hurt, feelings of sadness about the loss of a relationship can lead to bodily pain and aches, Cogan said.

From backaches and headaches to appetite loss and fatigue, Cogan said often when doctors cannot find medical sources of the pain, it is usually because of emotional trauma.

She said she finds people turn to unhealthy habits, such as overeating, drinking or doing drugs, to cope with their emotional stress.

However, finding the middle ground between being by yourself and the desire for being in a relationship is key to surviving the holiday alone, Acker said.

“I think it is important we find a balance for us to be individuals and do stuff on our own as much as we have the need to be in couples and be with others,” she said.

Nimia Amaya, a radio, television and film senior, said the discussion group would have helped her when she got over a breakup last semester.

The topic of love and relationships is especially sensitive to some people during this time of year, she said.

“Valentine’s Day is coming up, and to many people it has a negative connotation,” Amaya said. “It’s an especially important discussion to have on a college campus where we’re already stressed out with school. We don’t need to deal with emotional stress on top of it.”

Cogan plans to discuss healthy ways of dealing with the pain at the discussion she will lead today.

“I hope people get a sense that they’re not alone if they are struggling with the loss of a relationship,” Cogan said. “But I hope there is a positive spin to it. That is my main intent.”

Relationship Counseling
“Getting Over a Relationship” by Karen Cogan
12:10 p.m. to 12:50 p.m. today
Chestnut Hall 311