North Texas Daily

Being disrespectful should not be a personality trait

Being disrespectful should not be a personality trait

Being disrespectful should not be a personality trait
August 10
14:00 2020

I am not sensitive. I just do not appreciate being disrespected.

In my 20 years of life, one thing I have yet to understand is how the rudest people seem to always end up on top. Sure, we like to believe that karma exists, and they will eventually get what they deserve, but I have seen people go on to do just fine after treating others like the scum of the earth.

I hate to say it, but I think someone needs to. I hope their day comes. I hope the day comes that they receive back all the pain they caused others. I do not understand why it is so popular to be rude. Why is that something people aim for?

I do believe people can grow and change. I am still young, so people my age are still developing their brains and learning every day. I just feel that at some point, it became a trend to be the “mean girl” or “mean guy.”

There is a stark difference between being subtle and flat out rude.

“People think I’m mean but it’s just the way I was raised.” Okay… but now you are older, and this is your life so change it.

“I’m not rude, I just don’t care.” When I see tweets or comments like this, it makes me wonder how or even if they have friends and why. I knew so many girls like this growing up, and it was so annoying to interact with them.

I have lost friends throughout my youth because they developed the traits of the typical mean girl, and they were not the type of people I wanted to surround myself with.

I was forced to be teammates with a group of girls like this and, to this day, it has been one of the worst experiences of my life. I refused to stoop to their level of disrespect, and I was shunned because of it.

At this age, I hate when people explain their lack of respect as just “being who they are” or “it’s how I was raised.”

Never in my life have I met someone for the first time and treated them disrespectfully. No matter what preconceived notions I may have about them were. I was raised to treat people the way I would like to be treated, but there have many times where it was evident this was not taught to all people in their upbringing.

I understand we all have different childhoods, but at some point, a person must take it upon themselves to take note of negative learned behaviors and unlearn them. Not everything we learn from our parents are things we should take with us through life. Some of the information should be taken and noted so that we learn to not behave this way.

I feel like if you must resort to being disrespectful to feel good about yourself or to make friends, then you have some deep evaluating to do.

Treating people this way has been found to stem from having low self-esteem. “If a person regards herself/himself in a negative and critical light, that attitude is bound to affect the way they regard others.”

Another excuse for coming across as being disrespectful is credited to cultural differences. This is one reason I understand. When it comes to having different cultural backgrounds, what may seem like playful banter between two people of one culture may be a form of disrespect in another.

If someone encounters someone of a different culture in a manner that the receiving end deems as disrespectful, then it should be discussed, understood and respected. The parties can then move forward with an understanding of the boundaries of conversation.

As nice as it would be, most individuals do not emotionally mature at the same rates. Some take years to develop a level of maturity that is not rooted in being mean-spirited. Sadly, some never grow out of it either.

My biggest peeve is people who try to play off their disrespectful behavior as me being too sensitive. The biggest instance I had of this was in high school. I faced consistent belittling and harassment every day from a couple of the students in my class. There was no escaping them.

It got to the point where even teachers noticed, but they thought it was just casual banter between students because I started attempting to respond to their rude remarks. I was always made fun of for even trying to combat their insults. I ended up nearly transferring at the end of the term, but I ended up staying and “learned” to take it.

I hate that. I hate that I ever adapted to the way they treated me. They made me feel stupid, less than, and crazy for calling them out for what was blatant bullying. I was labeled as sensitive for the remainder of my time at that school until I graduated. That is one of my biggest regrets to date. Not holding those kids accountable.

I can only hope they have learned from their behavior and reflected on their past actions. If not, I hope someone else has called them out on their behavior, and it makes them think back to the way they treated me once upon a time.

I am never going to stop being me. I am never going to become that person that when you hear their name, you instantly associate them with being ill-mannered. That is not who I am, that is not how I was raised and I would never want to make someone feel the way I felt.

Featured Illustration: Austin Banzon

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Peyton Jones

Peyton Jones

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1 Comment

  1. Trish
    Trish December 11, 03:39

    I like what you wrote and I agree. I have had individuals 10 to 15 years younger than I that are disrespectful to me. I would never do that. They have even made comments to me in front of co=workers and even customers. So, unprofessional too.

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