North Texas Daily

Don’t insult women because of rejection

Don’t insult women because of rejection

July 29
17:50 2016

Victoria Baghaei | Staff Writer

@chorizotacoss

Women face several types of social issues in everyday life. It’s assumed that we’re going to comply with every compliment imaginable. That we must be walking alone because we are looking for some company, or possibly a new date. On the contrary, that’s usually not the case, especially if that woman you target has made zero eye contact with you and harbors no will to speak to you.

Imagine you’ve had a rough day and want to be alone, so you go outside and play Pokémon Go. You’re likely going to a highly populated area because it’s safer to walk alone there, especially because people approach us women constantly. Once you arrive, you’re relieved and take a nice walk to cool you down from the overwhelming day.

Somehow to certain male eyes, a woman walking alone is an invitation to flirtation and that she must definitely want to talk to them because she’s alone.

“Well, you’re wrong. I don’t want to talk to you.”

Now comes that stranger looking for a female companion. You’re expecting it because, most likely, they’ve attempted to make eye contact despite your efforts to do otherwise. However, they still try because it’s silly for me to expect men to understand my body language, which screams “Please, no, don’t talk to me!”

Therefore, you’re not really excited to speak to them since you crave time to yourself. But of course, you acquiesce to be nice and answer them. In turn, the man asks you a lot of personal inquiries, repeatedly complimenting random aspects of you prior to popping the question: “Can we exchange numbers?” It doesn’t feel like he’s looking for a friendship regarding those special compliments, nor are you looking for a relationship in that moment. In fact, you could already be in one.

Now, it’s time to speak the words – “I’m not interested” – that could possibly madden the gentleman. It’s the moment that determines if I’m rude or not. Because after not giving this nice young man his “time of day,” I’ve become the villain in his eyes.

Sometimes men react in a respectful way, you get lucky and don’t have to deal with the potential uncomfortable nature of rejecting someone.

That’s not what usually happens though.

Chances dictate that more than one of those times, women are slandered because they declined your offer, even though you were nice. Women will leave the place we wanted to spend time at just to avoid running into a guy again after such an awkward exchange.

So here’s some advice for all you “nice” guys out there: Just because you are nice does not mean you are entitled to become a part of my life. It doesn’t mean I have to give you my phone number. Don’t start insulting us to our faces or to your friends, because it’s not fair that a nice girl had to deal with someone trying to get in their pants for 10 minutes. Your niceness doesn’t mean you’re entitled, even if your intentions are good.

If you’re truly looking to be someone’s friend, then go for it. It doesn’t mean you can’t talk to anyone cordially. But make sure that your intentions are clear and you aren’t bothering someone that clearly desires alone-time. Learn social cues; they’re important if you’re going to be approaching random women.

Whenever your intentions are genuine, we’ll most likely know.

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