Internet spoilers are unavoidable, get over it

Internet spoilers are unavoidable, get over it

July 29
18:02 2016

Morgan Sullivan | Staff Writer

@sadsquadch

If there’s one thing harder to avoid than political coverage right now, it’s spoilers. Whether you watch the show or not, your Twitter feed is probably full of spoilers from every show imaginable. It doesn’t matter if it’s HGTV or HBO’s newest, someone out there just wants to watch the world burn.

Back in the day, life was less chaotic. You could buy the entire “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” series on VHS or DVD without a clue what you were in for. No one ran up to you on the street, telling you what was going to happen in the next episode, or even the next season.

Now the internet is booby-trapped with spoilers. “Haven’t seen Gossip Girl yet?” Surprise, it’s [spoiler]!” I’m not going to be the one to spoil that for you. You’re welcome.

You can go from casually looking at dog pictures to having an entire series ruined for you in less than two minutes. The casualties are never ending. Thanks to live tweeting and straight up jerks out there, the modern pop culture world is a minefield of spoilers.

Illustration by Samuel Wiggins | Senior Staff Illustrator

Illustration by Samuel Wiggins | Senior Staff Illustrator

The real problem is that there’s no unanimous code for posting spoilers. There’s never a time when it’s not too soon. With streaming sites like Netflix, Hulu and everything in between, it’s not even safe to post about shows that ended decades ago. There’s no protocol or “bro code” regulating spoiler sessions. It’s every man and TV watcher for himself, which is now a vicious cycle.

There’s only two real options for approaching spoilers: avoid the internet completely or accept that the internet ruins everything you love.

Admittedly, the first case is a little much. However, there are ways to go about spoilers intelligently. If you know someone who, in particular, likes ruining the fun, you can mute them on Twitter. Or in your life. You decide what kind of vile human beings you want to hang out with.

There are also multiple Google Chrome extensions that can blacklist phrases on Twitter and Tumblr specifically. You have the right to check social media whenever you like, but if you associate with masochists, you should take extra precautions. Otherwise, say goodbye to your Facebook friends and live a life of solitude where you only interact with squirrels and the occasional creepy guy in the woods.

Now, the second world of thinking is a bit easier to muster. Accept that the internet ruins everything and you’ll never be disappointed. Someone ruined a certain king-to-be’s death for me in a certain fantasy series, but it was still satisfying to see that little jerk choke to death. Honestly, most people don’t intend to ruin shows for others. They just get too excited about what’s happening and don’t have any friends to about it with. Even when major story lines unravel, you can continue to live on.

This is the price we pay for having technology at our fingertips. Internet spoilers are unavoidable, so we should grow up and get over it.

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