North Texas Daily

Lulu: A complicated way to date

Lulu: A complicated way to date

Lulu: A complicated way to date
February 08
11:20 2016

Sidney Johnson | Staff Writer

@Sidjohn87

In our tech-savvy day, there are many ways to make new friends to share your experiences with, and if you fancy a midday Netflix-and-chill with the curtains drawn and the lights off, there’s Lulu. After hearing about this app from a friend, I decided to let Lulu show me the world of online dating for a few days, and she caught me a bit off-guard.

Lulu knows how to slide into those DMs at 1:00 a.m. If this is your thing, she can help you: VIP membership, detailed profile customization and even a ranking system. But to gain access to every part of the mobile matchmaking service, you must first become a member in her club at the “low” cost of $99.99.

This may seem laughable, but if you cough it up to Lulu, she connects you with “the most beautiful people” she can find, and her reach is wide. Lulu also guarantees a “no-fake zone” in her club, so you can rest assured that “Hot2Trot18” isn’t catfishing you, just as it eliminates the possibility of good-ol’-boy Buck in his greasy wife-beater from sending you flirty midday messages.

It only took me about 15 minutes to find a match from her diverse assortment of local singles. Being the sweetie that I am, I attempted to send a flower from the app’s Valentine-themed emoticons, but Lulu wasn’t having that either. Lulu demands more money, now in the form of credits to send a gift through her services. These credits also ensure your visibility to a broader audience, essentially weeding out those who won’t pay to play. Much like real life, I suppose.

I found the most annoying part was the preliminary promise of “superpowers,” which would give you access to a private inbox.

And you guessed it, Lulu needs a new pair of shoes.

If it’s ever to go down in the DM under her watch, you must proclaim your dedication to her to at least 30 friends through Facebook or by email first, annoyingly making you “that guy” who invites 30 of his friends to an app so he can ultimately text a stranger.

So what am I getting at here? It’s simple: Lulu is a complicated woman. She’s cool on the surface, but a lot of work once you get to know her. And she definitely can’t replace the proven method of confidently approaching someone for conversation.

You might drive it deep down the line, or you could embarrassingly strike out, but at least you physically walked up to the plate. I’m no expert at baseball, but I’m sure there has yet to be a player that never touched a single base in their career.

In a world where Tinder holds a significant market share in the dating scene, let me make a radical suggestion: Go out there and play for real – this app is for suckers.

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