“Say that you love me:’ Modern dating eschews communication

“Say that you love me:’ Modern dating eschews communication

“Say that you love me:’ Modern dating eschews communication
September 19
10:00 2018

One day in kindergarten, I sat in a wagon on the top of a steep hill. Suddenly, a girl in my class grabbed my wagon and pushed it down the hill until it flipped, ejecting me and scraping both of my elbows and knees. Dumbfounded by the logic of what just happened, I asked a fellow kindergartner if he knew why she just did that. He giggled and replied, “Because she likes you.” I was honored a girl finally had a crush on me, but I did not know how to respond considering she flipped my wagon, nearly broke my arms and abruptly left.

I’d like to say my experiences with women have dialed down in absurdity, but they haven’t. Unfortunately, that seems to be the case with many people in high school, college and beyond. Dating has turned into an overanalyzed, interpersonal science, and that shouldn’t be the case.

I’ll start with an example that angers me the most. Around a year ago, I was told to never “like” an Instagram post of a girl I found attractive until a few days after it’ s posted. Liking the post a few days later would apparently make me stand out, since it would come after the hundreds of likes it accumulated since it was first posted. This is the arguably the most absurd thing I have ever heard. With this logic, I shouldn’t pick up my sub at Jersey Mike’s until a few days after I ordered it, so the guy behind the counter knows my need for the sandwich is real.

I understand it is bad to come across as overly clingy, but a few days seems a little excessive. If I was the attractive girl in this situation and saw some guy liked my photo a nearly week later, I would first and foremost be creeped out.

A second dating “tip” I’ve heard is that if a girl eyes me multiple times, it is a sign of interest. Could a statement be any vaguer? I once owned a Bill Cosby record of his comedy special titled “To Russell, My Brother, Whom I Slept With.” Once the Cosby rape allegations came to public light, I eyed the record especially heavily, but that does not mean I am interested in dating Cosby. Everybody “eyes” things. A girl actually apologized for checking me out last Friday at Public House, so I’ll take this piece of advice with something much smaller than a grain of salt.

I saved the best dating “tip” for last. According to an article from The Good Men Project, if a girl “flares her nostrils” in front of you, that may be a sign of attraction. What? Isn’t that a dangerous sign that she’s having trouble breathing? Flaring your nostrils is something you do when you’re hiding for dear life from someone with a knife, not talking to a crush. Also, to even realize she is flaring her nostrils I’d have to physically put my face under her nose, which she probably doesn’t want any part of.

I don’t know if it is just me, but I wish we could just talk to each other instead of looking out for these subtle supposed signals. If someone told me they liked me and I didn’t even return the affection, I would still be happy to know that somebody in the world enjoys my company. Although I firmly believe our mouths were given to us to see how many Gushers we could chew at once, they were also given to us to be straightforward in our love lives.

Featured Illustration: Elizabeth Rhoden

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E.J.Griffiths

E.J.Griffiths

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