North Texas Daily

Before the impact of COVID-19, we were all living our lives as we chose. Then it was all taken away from us in a matter of weeks. All of our lives have been impacted in a way that no one could ever predict. But here we are in quarantine so we can get back to living our lives outside of the house.

Personally, the pandemic has taken a toll on me. Weeks before we were forced to quarantine, I was finally getting into my routine with the balance of school, work and self care. In the midst of this, I was beginning to evolve as a Christian. During the month of February, I accepted my calling to full time ministry and also dedicated my life to Christ and got baptized. I was unstoppable. No one could come between the work I knew God was calling me to. I have waited years for this, literally.

If you would’ve told me during that time that we would be going through a pandemic, classes would be online and I wouldn’t be able to work, I would’ve told you that there was power in the tongue, and to allow me to rebuke all the negativity out of you.

I was feeling confused because of this pandemic but was accepting because I had “faith over fear.” I wasn’t worrying and I knew that this too shall come to pass. But when it progressively got worse, those feelings suddenly went away. I was doubting my calling, irritated all the time, going crazy mentally and questioning myself on how I am supposed to be the encourager when I cannot even encourage myself. I refused to be a hypocrite, so for a week I was stubborn with God and fell off. I wasn’t reading any of my devotions, praying or listening to my worship music. I ignored all of my friends that could possibly speak light into me. I was falling back into my old ways and I was okay with it. I was unhappy with God and the world. I lost both of my jobs, but my rent still had to be paid. I didn’t understand and was annoyed that there was nothing I could do about it.

Then one night as I was showering when God began to speak to me. I remember closing my eyes and hearing him say, “I’m here, I haven’t gone anywhere, Tierra.” From that moment on, I was back. I just began to pray and lay down all of my worry, doubt and frustration, and I knew at that very moment there was nothing I could do without him. I still had work that needed to be done and he wasn’t finished with me yet. He put me in check and I got back on track.

For me, being called to ministry is exciting and can be confusing, especially during moments like this. But I have heard many ministers express that it’s not about what you do during this pandemic, but rather what you choose to have come out of this pandemic. When this is all over, I want to come out heavy with the armor of God, ready to reach disciples and share the mighty works he has and will continue to do.

Isaiah 41:10 says, “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious hand.”

God has the final say and you will come out stronger and better than ever, but it’s all up to you. Stay encouraged and get in his word. Seek him and his word, it is times like this where he knows we need him the most and it’s easier to be one with his word.

Featured Illustration: Olivia Varnell