Spring semester cleaning: Toxic friendships

Spring semester cleaning: Toxic friendships

January 31
23:08 2018

It is a new year with new energy, and even though it is still technically winter, it is never too early for a spring semester cleaning.

After academic and extracurricular preparations, the time to analyze your life to create your best one is now. That starts with detoxing yourself from any squares in your circle.

Research shows friendships help you live longer than actual romantic relationships, so it makes sense you would want to hold on to potentially toxic friendships.

I have had my fair share of toxicity in 2017.

One year of memories does not amount to singular moments you have with friends you are attached to. Attachment is a drug, and your love and loyalty for a person can blind you by behaviors overlooked in how they treat you.

You don’t notice when things start to change. It starts off subtly, with a rude gesture or comment here and there  maybe even something more.

Any insecurity you confide in a toxic friend, they use it against you, and it hurts that much more coming from them. You find yourself questioning and doubting who you are because of them.

“They don’t mean it. That’s just them,” you tell myself. Forgiving them doesn’t mean you forget, but it does mean you are the one not wanting to acknowledge and accept this person is weighing you down.

Toxic friendships suffocate you.

It is like being in their car, but their car is sent over the edge of a cliff into a lake where you are downing. You’re screaming out their name to come save you  disregarding the fact they’re the one who put the car in drive.

They don’t want you. They want control and power over you.

They feed off of your need to need them, because in their insecure world, having you bend and break ensures they stand tall and straight. We want people to love us in ways we might not love ourselves, which translates in toxic situations.

Take your power back.

It may be hard. Some friendships you have to ween off from, while with others require a more immediate cut-off. Look inside of yourself, and ask who you are and what is your assignment here. Finding yourself is the biggest step in reciprocating positive energy around you.

Most toxic friendships are not going to be easy to let go of if the person is not done with you. But being done with them is the best decision you can make. Let this new season be about assessing how people handle you, and act accordingly.

It is not selfish, it is healthier for you.

Featured Image: Illustration by Gabby Evans

About Author

Jade Jackson

Jade Jackson

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