Texas has issues: Your state’s week in review

Texas has issues: Your state’s week in review

April 03
21:48 2013

The Texas House approved a bill yesterday designating pecan pie as the “Official State Pie.” Honestly, we didn’t realize this precedent hadn’t already been established.

The bill was originally proposed by a group of first grade students learning about Texas government. Upon discovering the shocking oversight that no state pie was designated, they sprang into action. After all, the pecan is our state tree and nut, so it makes sense.

We’re glad this whole thing is completely official. After all, if you tell a Texan you don’t like pecan pie, they’ll probably suspect you’re a communist.

The Texas Highway Patrol is probably popping champagne right about now after seizing 3.9 tons of marijuana from a tanker truck during a routine inspection. That’s over $3.4 million worth of the sticky green stuff, making the bust one of the largest in our state’s history.

The driver of the vehicle was arrested and their name  has not yet been released, but our money’s on Willie Nelson.

A study released this week by a gaming advocacy group discovered that Texas misses out on more than $3 billion every year by continuing to prohibit casinos and restricting other forms of gambling in the state.

Oklahoma, currently boasting the third most lucrative gambling industry in the nation, is stealing away our state’s profits by luring players to take a quick ride across the border.

We barely know how to play Texas Hold ‘Em, but this still sounds like a good way to rake in more cash for the state. Casinos might seem sleazy, but they always turn a profit, and gambling profits can finance boring things like road construction. We might not all like gambling, but everyone can agree on roads.

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