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The concept of marriage isn’t as important nowadays

The concept of marriage isn’t as important nowadays

The concept of marriage isn’t as important nowadays
November 22
18:32 2019

Marriage is a topic that is always brought up. Ever since we were kids it’s something that we’ve seen in countless shows and movies.

The idea of finding our soulmate and starting a new life together is something that’s desirable to many. If you’re not working towards reaching the goal of marriage, it’s looked down upon by older generations. I come from a Mexican family, and every time I find myself visiting Mexico, I get asked about my dating status without fail. The idea of having or needing a partner is something that’s so ingrained in culture and society that our generation has diminished this mindset a bit.

There used to be this set expectation to get married at a certain age and have the wedding of your dreams. Or, some people set a self-placed “holder” for the age you want to get married at. Nowadays, it isn’t being pushed as much by society and by our generation and older millennials, too. 

The value of self-worth in our 20s should always be there. Instead of being concerned about building a family at a young age, shifting your focus to a career or on yourself is just as good.

For example, Emma Watson is normalizing independence by having a relationship with yourself first, even as you start entering your thirties. 

Some people don’t care about all the career milestones she’s accomplished, and only choose to show disbelief that she isn’t married with kids at almost 30. There was judgment and mockery around her being single for a reason or that no one would want her if she waits too long, which is exactly the problem. The main point that was pulled out of the interview was her marital/dating status rather than her career accomplishments. 

Being single shouldn’t be looked down upon. There shouldn’t be a fear in that or a need to seek out companionship because there’s more to life than just that.

There shouldn’t be a rush to get married because not everyone is equipped for it. From a young age, it’s been ingrained in our minds to have kids and pass down your legacy so it can live on. Personally, I have a fear of bringing children into such a harsh world as this.

Some people I used to know in high school have already gotten married and it’s made me question my choices. I worry that once I graduate from UNT that I’ll immediately be expected to get married and have kids.

It’s important to learn about yourself and find the value of inner worth without needing to rely on someone else to do that for you or to grant you the happiness you can’t even give yourself. We’ve seen parents divorce, stay together or have a toxic relationship. Those toxic traits that we learned from them can latch on to us. If your parents were as toxic as mine were, you might not even know what a healthy relationship is supposed to look or be like which makes things even harder. 

It’s no wonder younger people are careful and don’t want a bad foundation for their kids if we choose to have them. We realize that whoever we choose to marry will also affect our kids, so we have to be wise about it. It’s a big decision to make and we’re either avoiding it, living our lives or being overly cautious about it.

It’s more beneficial to settle down at an older age rather than earlier. There’s more knowledge about ourselves and our relationships with other people. Just because my mom got married in her early 20s doesn’t mean I have to do the same. 

Our focus as a generation has shifted more towards academics and having a good career. These things are more important for the generation we are currently living in. There isn’t a need to settle for just anyone. Some people move from relationship to relationship which can lead to trust issues and other emotional scars that need healing which then requires time. For others, dating seems exhausting, and there’s the notion that floats around that love doesn’t exist in this day and age anymore.

We’re all getting our lives figured out dealing with education, jobs student loans and financial stability and I, as well as many others, will be saving marriage for last or for whenever it feels like the right time.

Featured Illustration: Kylie Phillips

About Author

Natalie Thomas

Natalie Thomas

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1 Comment

  1. Dr. Jim
    Dr. Jim November 26, 18:21

    Natalie:
    As a single, in-shape, 53 year old pot head Doctor who legalized marijuana for the state community in Oregon, please do not waste your time thinking about marriage. Marriage is prison and guys hit their fifties and ejaculating becomes a thing of the past. It is unthinkable at your age, but it is true. Y’ yo hablo espanol.Anyway, if you want to discuss it, you can reach me at drjimxlaw64@gmail.com .

    Reply to this comment

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