North Texas Daily

Caitlyn Jones / Editor-in-Chief

Four half-pound patties. Twelve strips of bacon. Two sweet sourdough buns. Thirty minutes. The King Kong burger was my Everest and I was Edmund Hillary, determined and ready to conquer the mountain of meat. But by the end, I was like the others who came before him: dejected and metaphorically dead.

The King Kong burger challenge has been a staple of RG Burgers off Interstate 35 and Loop 288 since its opening in 2007. The burger sits on a giant platter garnished with a mound of fries. The challenge is to finish your plate in 30 minutes. If you do, you receive a T-shirt or a coupon for a free burger (you still have to pay for the King Kong). Pictures adorn the walls of the restaurants of the brave souls who came before me. I was looking to be the third woman to complete the challenge and my confidence was colossal.

I have entered into my fair share of food challenges. As a toddler, I won a watermelon eating contest and a legend was born, or so I thought. Through the years, it became a tradition to enter Fourth of July hot dog eating contests, taking home the trophy in the female category four times. Ice cream was another specialty of mine. I faintly remember downing a pint of ice cream in under three minutes before slipping into a dairy-induced food coma.

So when the King Kong hit the table, I could smell the victory in the air. The burger sat a little over six inches tall and the amount of fries looked minuscule. When the timer began, I dove in with a strategy. I removed the top bun, knowing the bread would expand in my stomach, and cut the burger in half. The burger itself was delicious and I thought I had it in the bag for the first ten minutes, chomping away at the Angus beef and bacon while finishing off the first half.

Then it hit: the dreaded food wall.

My pace had slowed after 15 minutes just from the sheer amount of chewing involved. I was tired of tearing away at the burger so I mixed in the fries, but the potato mixture did not do much to ease the sharp pain building in my side. My smile faded and the possibility of the burger coming back up became more real with each bite. Twenty-three minutes in, it was clear. The burger had bested me.

With shame in my eyes and a grease ball in my belly, I paid the $20 check and waddled away from the table. My picture will still hang on the wall for attempting the challenge but each time I see it, I’ll only be reminded of the bloated failure left there.

Still, a new dawn will rise and amateur competitive eaters must pick up their forks again. You won this time, RG Burgers, but my appetite will return. Just not today…or tomorrow…or next week…I’ll keep you posted.