North Texas Daily

To the singles on Valentine’s Day, this one’s for you

To the singles on Valentine’s Day, this one’s for you

February 14
10:30 2018

Yes, we have to talk about it.

It’s Valentine’s Day, and you’re single. But before you do a Twitter thread on reasons why someone should date you, let me explain why finding love isn’t the be-all, end-all solution to life.

I always tell my friends when they complain about being single that having a significant other does not solve all your problems. I love my boyfriend, but my life is not perfect.

I still have anxiety. Sometimes I get panic attacks late at night. I’m still stressed about school and the future. I still deal with body image issues.

Do you see what I’m saying?

Getting a boyfriend doesn’t naturally fix your life, as much as your brain tries to convince you it would.

I do not want this to come across as whining to the single, “less fortunate” people — kind of like a “the girl with the healthy relationship still isn’t happy” kind of thing. But that is actually part of the problem — this belief we hold that if you have a partner, you’ve somehow won, you’ve made it and you’ve accomplished something.

Think about when couples get engaged. Why do we congratulate them? It is not really worthy of praise. We are happy for them, sure, but it’s not like they did something admirable or impressive. Putting on fake lashes without tweezers? Now that deserves congratulations.

Plus, relationships are a lot of work. You can’t be as selfish in a relationship — it’s a whole other person you have to concern yourself with. A healthy relationship requires communication, honesty, respect and a whole mess of other things — things you might not be so great at and need to work on personally. Which is completely worth it if you are really down for your partner, but come on, I’m trying to make you feel better about being single.

I know what you are probably thinking. This line of thought sounds all well and good in philosophy, but it’s different trying to implement it in your own life. At the end of the day, you still get sad sometimes because watching “RuPaul’s Drag Race” and getting wine drunk on a Thursday would be a lot more fun with a partner.

And all I can tell you is just hang in there. What is meant to be will be, you know? One bit of advice that always stuck with me is that there are two things you should never force: a relationship and a fart. And I haven’t pooped my pants yet.

Featured Image: Illustration by Austin Banzon

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Rachel Herzer

Rachel Herzer

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